Embarassment Like No Other...

Warning: This entry may be WAY too much information for you...and if it is, you are hereby sworn to NON-judgement!

Ok, just this past weekend something completely humiliating occurred not only to me, but just hours later to a friend. We laughed so hard about it that we cried! Perhaps you can relate to embarassment of like or similar nature...

So, we all know that the human body is a pretty amazing system of organs. But who knew that it had a mind of its own?...and I'm not talking about that cranial mass that dictates your preference of cereal, tooth paste, or umpteen other things. For whatever reason...and some say it has everything to do with aging, which I refuse to believe ;)...I'm learning that I don't have the control over my body that I used to. Let me illustrate: I'm with a guy one night this weekend and we are leaving my house to walk to his, where we are gathering to play cards. I walk down the steps off my front porch, just a step behind him, and without warning I completely let one...and sadly, a really loud one! I was mortified! and my mind is racing because I have no idea where it came from...girls don't do this! "do I acknowledge what just happened and excuse myself?" "do I blame it on my shoes and say something funny to lighten "the blow"?" "Do I ignore it all together and pretend it didn't happen?" Well, I chose the latter of the three and it didn't seem to phase him, so maybe he didn't hear it. But, really, who couldn't hear it?! SOOO embarassing! What's more is that it reduced me to -10,000 on the dignity scale, and inevitably total loss of sexy points.

So, after a few hours of playing games, one of my girl friends gets up from the table to use the restroom and as she takes her first step, I hear a little squeal. So i think, "must be her shoes", but then a few steps later I hear several more loud noises that are unmistakably....farts, toots, fluffers, whatever you prefer to call those obscene bodily functions! Of course, we all ignore the noises coming from her. What a strange response...my brothers would have been laughing their heads off! The two of us girls walk out that night together and bring up the events of the night. Like I said, we were crying, it was so funny! Seriously though, I thought those types of bodily mishaps only happen to older people! Ahh, the aspects of life that demand humility. I know, TMI!...don't judge!